What am I thankful for???

Wow, how to narrow it down? I'm thankful for grace, for calm in the storm, for a stable job that gives me some purpose, for having a home and a car and food to eat and an electric bill.

For Floyd and the amazing friendship we have-he's my bff; he makes me laugh all the time, even when I don't want too; he lifts my spirit and stirs my soul when I get to hear him singing praise to my King; he ignores my crazy behavior; he shares in my joy and in my pain; he overlooks my flaws; he loves me as best he can; he loves God and is learning to love Him even more.

For Raegan, she cracks me up with her fancy vocabulary, amazes me with all her stories and creative ideas, touches my heart with her care and concern for others, and blesses me with mom and daughter time.

For Troy, he makes me laugh like nobody else can and doesn't even realize that he's funny, he teaches me patience and perseverance in working through his learning disabilities, he amazes me with his gentle and kind heart, he is a unique guy with so much character.

For Tyler, he makes me laugh because he is a clown and loves to entertain, he makes me feel special because he always wants to hug me and says he loves me at the most random times, he reminds me that time goes by so fast because he's the youngest.

For all 3 children because they all remind me that God makes every person different for a reason. Each one is perfect the way they are. God doesn't make mistakes so every detail in their personality is exactly the way it's suppose to be. I pray that we all remain healthy and live long enough to see how God is going to use all their little idiosyncrasies to benefit His kingdom.

For friends, God has blessed me with so many in the last few years. I cherish each one for different reasons. Just like I was saying about the kids, each friend has a special purpose in my life. I'm not a very good friend because I get busy and lose track of time (hours, days, weeks, and even months or years) yet my friends are still there. They reach out to me and don't let me get too far away. I am so grateful for that because I really do treasure each one. Though I think of them so often, I'm no good at reaching out and staying connected.

For God, He saved me, He forgives me, He builds me up and wants me to be better, He doesn't settle for less than my all, He loves me, He provides for all my needs, He created me, He saved my marriage and my family, He exceeds my expectations, He never fails, He never gives up, He is faithful, He has a plan for me and it is good, He gives me strength, He is.

the clock keeps ticking

Wow, when I went on to post this blog I saw that my last post was in April. That's kind of sad. It seems that time passes way too quickly. All of my intentions may be great but what good are great intentions? The only thing that really counts is action. As I ponder all that has been accomplished in the last two months, so many of the things seem like forever ago. Even the last week of school seems like a distant memory. I can definitely say that last week at Camp His Way was amazing and I'll cherish those memories for a life time! It was also great preparation for my mission trip. I know that God had this in His plan all along.

As I spent time with those kids and prayed with them during chapel, I realized that I can reach out and share in the pain and suffering of others, I can share in their joy and celebrations, I guess I just learned that I really can share in their lives. This probably doesn't make sense, so here's my best attempt at explaining. I knew that could feel empathy or excitement for others but what I wasn't sure about was to go before my Father on their behalf, right then, out loud, in public, where they can hear me and I can totally get lost in the moment. I was amazed at how many times I was brought to tears while praying with these children. God gave me the words to say, just as he has so many times in the past. I know that when I'm out there in the middle of nowhere on that mission, I'll see so many things that I can't yet imagine but I also know that God will be there with the right words for the moment. Perhaps there won't be any words and he'll give me the right touch or look or who knows what. The point is, he'll provide. I have nothing to fear.

Floyd leaves for Uganda in 10 days. I am amazed how time has passed and God has changed us in so many ways. To look back on where we've been and how far away Floyd was, I am astonished by the changes. In ten days he'll get on a plane and travel half-way around the world to share the love of Christ. He doesn't like to fly; he had aboslutely no desire to ever leave the US for any reason, even leisure, let alone a mission; and we definitely are not in a position financially to make all of this happen. God has provided a great deal of his funding already and we're trusting that God will provide the rest in the next 10 days. It is all just so amazing.

Raegan and I will leave for South Dakota in 7 weeks. The more we learn about our destination, the more I realize what we're up against. When you here South Dakota you think, "ok, no big deal." I'm shocked to discover that our conditions there will be as bad as those in Uganda. The dark forces definitely have a stronghold. As we get closer, Raegan and I both get more nervous. We're trusting God to protect us and our team. We're praying that he'll prepare the hearts and minds of the people to hear and see His love through us.

Anyway, this is getting long and I really don't have the words to describe what I'm feeling. God's work in my life is beyond amazing and I could never express my gratitude sufficiently. Fortunately, I know that all I have to do is accept His grace.

my mission field

I'm a math teacher because God told me that's what he wanted me to do. Believe me, I fought it. I thought of plenty of other things I could do to work and make a difference but I knew what I was "supposed" to do. Finally, I accepted it and I've been doing it now for 6 years. Even though teen-agers bring plenty of challenges (especially mass quantities of other people's teen-agers) I always have peace and comfort because I know this is what God wants me to do.

However, I have another desire. It's to go out into the world and introduce people to Christ. To be His hands and feet! Don't misunderstand me, I'm terrified of it! BUT I totally long to do it. When my kids are older, I want to be financially free (no debt and all that), so that I can use all that time off that teachers get to be on mission for God. Don't get me wrong, with so many kids coming through my door everyday, I know that God can use me in His own way to reach them. I definitely pray that he does. I know I don't measure up and I need to keep working on it. But for some reason the foreign mission field just calls my name. I don't ever see myself not teaching, so I'm not really thinking that a long term mission is calling my name. But I can see multitudes of short term trips. I know that everyday is a gift from God, so I could not even be on this planet long enough to see my children grown but if God leaves me here, I want to make a difference. An eternal difference!

Now to completely turn the topic, in my desire to go on mission trips in the future, I have to pay attention that I'm not missing my role right now. My classroom is a mission field and I must keep that in the front of my mind at all times. I admit, I don't think I do that great of a job. I know I've made a difference for some kids but I'm not on fire like I should be. If you're reading this, please pray that I respond to this calling with more passion and energy! Pray for me to be more focused and dilligent.

what character are you displaying?

So, as mentioned before, I've been running at a somewhat superficial level for a few weeks now. Not that I haven't done any good thinking but nothing that has caused me to really reflect. Well, today my little mind has been spinning! This is where I'm going to hash out these thoughts. Keep in mind, they're not completely processed yet. These thoughts just seem to really be getting my attention, so perhaps they'll be of use to one of us.

Here goes: I frequently find myself considering God's character. Whenever I have to make a decision or I'm pondering something, I ask myself how the situation and each choice would line up with God's character. While God's specific actions may be different, he never acts outside his character.While he may not directly give me a how to for every situation, He has set a precedent through his steadfast character. I LOVE that about Him!
This made me wonder, do my words and actions portray the character that I want to have? Obviously, my words and actions display the truth of my heart (this is way too complicated a topic to try to explain, so yes, I'm generalizing, keeping in mind that sometimes our actions do not line up with our desires, see Roman 7:15 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.")

I want to be considered a servant of God first of all, then I'd like to be seen as loyal, steadfast, diligent, helpful, loving, generous, energetic, spontaneous. When I'm thought of, I want it to be known that I follow through, I do what I say I'm gonna do, I'm not afraid to go all out for God or for anyone in need. I want others to see me making every moment count. I don't want to wake up someday and say "I wish I hadn't said no to ..."

While the list is quite long, I think they all have merit. Of course, they are not necessarily in order of importance or anything. It seems to me that our character is not defined by the big moments. It's easy to do the right thing when there's a lot on the line. It's easy to make the choice when everyone is watching or when you know it's a big deal. What really shows our character is the little things. Do I do the right thing in the small moments, when no one's watching? Do I say yes to God when no one else will ever know? Do I follow through time after time? It seems that consistency is the real revealer. God is consistent. He was, He is, and always will be. The same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. In order to know that our own character has been refined, we must look for consistency.

Give it some thought. What character do you display? Is it who you want others to see?

a lack of thoughts

So, I realize that I haven't posted a blog in a while. Really that's not a big deal. I never did it before. In my teen years, I wrote in a journal every single day just to sum up what was on my mind. It's kind of nice to have them to go back and look at. During my separation from Floyd, I also kept a journal. Not every single day but periodically. It was my escape. It allowed me to get out all the stuff I wanted to say but God told me was a bad idea. It is also nice to look back on. The moments might have been bad but the lessons learned have so much value.

I guess what has me astonished today is that I haven't really had anything on my mind in weeks. It seems that life and time are flying by. Perhaps I'm so caught up that I haven't slowed down long enough to think. In some ways it's good but in others it's bad. Right now, I'm looking at a couple of hours of working on the finances (my financial peace university homework). Since I was voted the nerd for this year, I'll be doing the groundwork and Floyd will just be adding in his occassional opinion. It's really interesting how well we can trade off the roles. We're pretty good at it.

Anyway, since I've been puzzled by my lack of thoughts for a few weeks now, I decided to document it. Perhaps next time I'll be more interesting!

"Bring The Rain"

As I've mentioned many times, I love music. I love that the lyrics say things that I might not ever put into words and how the power of a great song can stop me in my tracks at any moment. I can be anywhere and suddenly I'm compelled to stop and lift my hands, close my eyes, and praise. I LOVE IT! Countless times I've been driving down the road, just listening to whatever comes on the radio and suddenly find myself moved to tears. I love that God speaks to me through the music and the music allows me to worship and praise Him in amazing ways.

I'm a lyrics person. I know others that just enjoy the tune and the flow of the song. I do understand that. I love a good beat, a nice rhythm, or kickin' drum or guitar solo. Heck, a good friend of mine frequently points out that I am prone to spontaneous dancing at any time, in any place. No one else hears the music but I'm dancing to the song in my head. This is true, I won't deny it, but when it's all said and done, I'm all about the lyrics.

So...finally, hears what's been on my mind for a few days.
In a song by Mercy Me, the lyrics go like this:
"Bring me joy, Bring me peace,
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings you glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise you
Jesus, bring the rain

The first time this song got my attention I was in a women's prison with a ministry team. We were there to paint the cell walls and were allowed to bring in a guitar to lead some worship music. We sang all sorts of songs but when these ladies sang this particular song, it got my attention. They belted it out. Throughout the entire cell, women were letting it out. These women knew pain, they new what it was like to be without freedom. Some of them have found what true freedom is-even in a jail cell. These women have been in the rain, many of them in worse storms than I've ever found myself. Yet, they sang these words and they meant it. You could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices.

Now, suddenly this week, this song has popped back in my head. I haven't even heard it in a while but I can't forget the words. To truly worship God during our times of pain and suffering is the greatest honor. It demonstrates our true love for and understanding of our savior, Jesus Christ. So, I considered these words and I wondered, could I make these words my prayer? Am I willing to say, "if that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus, bring the rain?" At this point in my life, I am. I'd rather be with Jesus in the worst situation than be in the best place this world can offer without Him.

This has really been on my heart for a few days, so I'd ask you to consider it. Would you ask Jesus to bring the rain? If not, how can you get to that point? What's stopping you?

What is your worldview?

As you may know, I'm working on my Master's in Special Education. In my last class, the final paper was a book critique of "The Pattern of God's Truth." At the end of our critique, we were supposed explain our worldview. After re-visiting my paper yesterday, I decided to post some of it here. Mostly just to remind myself. So here goes:
A Biblical Worldview
A worldview is the outlook that a person has based on their beliefs regarding where they come from, who they are, and how they relate to the world. If a person has a Biblical worldview, they believe that the words of the Bible are truth. More specifically, they believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God impressed upon the authors to write down for future generations to possess. Once a person claims a Biblical worldview, certain beliefs become foundational. First of all, they believe that the earth and all its inhabitants were created by God. Also, humans were created in the image of God. Second, they believe that human beings have a sinful nature and were separated from a relationship with God after the original sin. Third, they believe that Jesus Christ came to this earth and lived a perfect life. Then he was crucified on the cross, put in a tomb, and rose three days later. The purpose of his death and resurrection was to atone for the sins of every human being that they may have a renewed relationship with God. Jesus says in John 6:38 and 40, “For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me...For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day” (The Living Application Study Bible, New International Version, p. 1888).
In addition to those basic truths, having a Biblical worldview also means that a person basis all knowledge and truth on what is found to be true in the Bible. The place to seek knowledge and answers on any topic is the Bible. In addition to seeking answers from the Bible, those with a Biblical worldview relate all knowledge to the Bible. For example, when discussing a scientific theory, it is necessary to match the plausibility of this theory with the truth found in the Bible. If any detail of the theory is in contrast to the truth of the Bible, then the theory is discredited and, therefore, thrown out by those with a Biblical worldview.
As a believer in God, I personally have a Biblical worldview. I have known the Lord as my savior since a young age and experienced his power as an adult. Because of this view, I hold the truth of the Bible as the standard by which everything else is judged. If I did not have this belief then I would have to trust that Science is correct or look for some other standard by which to make decisions. Every person must decide for themselves what standard is true. All knowledge and beliefs are looked at from the perspective of a person’s worldview.


I hope that my daily walk demonstrates this worldview. When it is my time to leave this earth, I want everyone to be clear why I was here. May my life leave no room for doubt!

Threads of Gratitude, 01-11-10

I have no idea if anyone actually reads my ramblings but just in case, I'll give a little back history. It is possible that through someone you know at church you have seen the "threads of gratitude" in your inbox. Almost two years ago Lisa Stone started this thread. She and I and several other dear friends were in a Bible study together on Wednesday nights. One Monday she sent out an email sharing a list of some things she was grateful for. She was nervous about the reaction and being considered "a dork" but she felt that God was asking her to do this. To her surprise, everyone responded with what they were grateful for and was so excited to receive the email. Lisa continued to send a new email of gratitude every Monday. Eventually Lisa felt God directing her to spread the gratitude further, so she encouraged us all to add new people to the thread and forward it on. To this day, Lisa still sends out a thread every Monday, I only know of once that she missed because she was in the middle of nowhere without a computer (that's over 100 threads of gratitude). At this point, we don't even know how many people get it or where it ends up. It has been a great joy in my life because I look forward to hearing what others are grateful for and how God is working in all of our lives. For some reason, I felt led to post today's thread here in my blog. Perhaps it is something I will start to do so that I can look back at the gratitude of the past. If you'd like to be added to my thread, let me know and I'll make sure I have your email address.
So here is today's:

Good evening Friends, it's Monday. In fact, Monday's almost over. I'm sorry that I missed this last week. We were on the road and with family for the funeral and I never got around to sending the email. I did think about what I was grateful for though! So here we go for this week:

Father, today I am grateful for the amazing amount of memory space you have given me. I wish I had been using it to know your word for all of these years but I'm glad that you have brought me back to this simple challenge. I remember as a child we always memorized scripture but I never really tried as an adult. I LOVE that I have fresh thoughts from you rolling around in my head!

Most High, I am grateful for the desire to share you with others. You have taken me out of my comfort zone to speak to strangers twice in the last week and I have been blessed both times! Thank you and I pray that it continues.

Lord, thank you for giving me direction in my life. To know where you want me and enjoy being there is such a blessing. When the days are long and the children are irritating it is so much easier to stay the course knowing that you put me there. I am surprised by how much I enjoy it and that I don't ever desire to quit, even on the worst days.

Father, thank you for connections and easy ways to communicate with friends. It is so great to run into people and catch up knowing that you put us on a path to intercept each other!

Lastly but perhaps of most significance, thank you for your faithfulness! We know that your plan is for good and everything happens in your time. Life is so much better knowing that you will never fail us. You always answer our prayers just maybe not the way we want. I am grateful to know that you love us enough to not give us what we want but instead to give us what we need and what is best!


Friends, take some time to think about what you are grateful for and share with me if you feel led to do so!

seems so long

Well, last time I wrote I mentioned that when Monday came I'd be back to busyness. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. On New Year's Day, Floyd I. Stanley Sr passed away. We drove to Arkansas on Monday to be with the family and attend the funeral.

If you were at that funeral, you probably would have had many of the same thoughts that I had. You see, Floyd was a pastor for many decades. More than a pastor, he was a student of God's word. He wrote many books about what he learned and taught many classes. At one point he could quote the entire Bible, literally. He knew it all by memory. At his funeral there were so many people that spoke about his devotion to the Lord. No one could doubt what the purpose of his life was. The number of people that could share Floyd's role in their life is amazing. He shared the gospel with too many people to ever count.
When I die, I know what I want my funeral to be like. You may think I'm kidding but just ask Floyd (my Floyd, Floyd III) or my kids and they'll tell you. I even have a running list of the songs I want people to sing. Not because I want to die but because I hope people know what my life is about. When I do go home for eternity, it will be just like all those before me. Those left behind will be sad but I'll finally meet my savior face to face. I hope in the meantime that I can be more like Christ every day; that I can share the gospel with the same passion that Floyd Sr did; that when others are asked to describe me whatever they say some how ties to my love of the Lord.
Of course,I hope it's not soon, I'd like to be here to see my children grow up and have their own. I'd like to do a lot of things. Those that know me well know that I'm always up for an adventure.
I pray that the Lord uses my life and that I always say yes to the adventure that He puts before me. I can't think of anyone better to plan the trip of a life!


While I'm babbling on today, I'd also like to share a little of my thoughts about my heart's prayer for day 3. So many times we focus on certain big events and spend our daily lives caught up in all the routines and mundane happenings. We're just busy going through life and we lose track. So here's my prayer...

Lord, Open my eyes to what you put in my path. I pray that I say YES when you call me in big ways and in small every day ways. Help me to focus my life on what is important. I want to live my life on a mission for your kingdom. Give me your eyes Lord! Let me see others the way you do. Let me see what you see as I walk down the hall ways at work and drive down the highway. Lord, when I see, move me to action! Give me the courage to say those words or reach out and touch. May my fear for those living without you be greater than my fear of speaking up or putting myself out there. All of this I ask in your precious son's name, Amen.